Saturday, April 5th, 2014.
It’s the weekend isn’t it? There is a snow melt symphony playing as the sun blazes on. Blue pierces the sky and if I stand in one spot long enough — the heat of the sun sinks into my bones and warms me. I never really thought about the warmth of the sun being absent but it is for months in Alaska. We are up to 14 hours of light now and it feels generous and healing. I feel those dark winter parts that settled in January squint from all this returning light. It is delicious and welcomed. I live for it.
All this Springtime has me cleaning up my behaviors and I’ve been paying attention to the ways I split my energy and spin out in distraction. Hello social media! I love being connected, but I wonder where I might gain a deeper awareness around my habits and bring moderation to the table.
So I’ve started small.
I turn my phone screen side down and place it across the room from where I am. Having a child alongside growing my art business is teaching me to use my time wisely. With my work being mostly originals, I must be disciplined to paint during the snippets of the day and night when my babe is sleeping. I have surrendered to the fact that there just isn’t time for it all — I can’t clean house, make dinner, fill my social calendar, do yoga, post blogs, make art, call people back — something has to give. And I’m okay with that. A big heart to my friends and family who give me this space and love me even though I drop out of touch for weeks at a time.
It is a blessing to work my craft while I raise my little sunbeam, Lola. I realize this time is gift– especially when I look across the room and see those baby blues —
Tuesday, April 1st, 2014.
The house looks like a tornado ripped through it. I just survived cry fest 2014. My dinner was a sandwich. And chips. The bad-for-you kind. I’ve got a baby who is tired and fighting sleep. I’ve had a full day of cleaning up bodily fluids and looking at a sink of dirty dishes. I’m sitting on the couch-taking deep breaths-wearing sweat pants and a tank. I almost didn’t tell you about the sweat pants. I almost didn’t sit down and write this post. I will leave out my hot mess of a hairdo.
You know those knee-jerk-bad thoughts that get triggered by some silly-seemingly-irritating thing? Those thoughts that can run off with your entire feel-good-potential of a day?
You know them? I’ve been trying my best to catch those rascals before my perspective slumps all doped up on negative scripts. My secret weapon is what I like to call “script flipping.”
Here’s my script flip:
My kitchen is painted in the best zing!-your-soul-carribean-blue and there are clothes in the dryer that may be wrinkled, but they are clean. I found my reserves of patience and sweet tendered soothe and cry fest ended before the encore. My stomach is full and my thirst quenched. Since I started writing this post my baby has fallen asleep. Everyone is safe, healthy and now clean. Sweatpants are freaking comfortable and a tank is perfect when you are a breast feeding mama. And even though I almost didn’t – I’m glad I sat down and wrote the truth about my messy-mundane-grateful-glowing-gorgeously-imperfect life.
Tuesday, March 4th, 2014.
A mantra Matt and I carry into the new year is “one a day.”
One painted object each day. Show up for one piece and see what happens.
I do my best and I’ve been able to create space for it most days. Of course there are days that yield more and days where it doesn’t happen, but all in all I am back to painting and it feels like an old friend has come to visit. It feels like home. If it wasn’t apparent to me in my twenties, I now know that when I practice my craft the world turns easier. I feel good and full of breath. I feel that invisible magic bouncing around out there.
We went through our summertime collecting and I gotta get going! There are enough things to paint every day for the next two years. Beautiful things full of stories. Soulful things. I want my paint to touch each one. I will need a lifetime of hours, but all I know I have for sure is this moment. So for now…it’s one a day.
( * ) I originally wrote this post on January 9th. Here it is the 4th of March and I am just now posting it. So goes life with a little one and wearing my new hat of “mama.” I’m happy to report that mostly I have been able to keep up with our one a day but man is it a challenge. Now that Lola is 5 months things are getting easier. We’re all getting to know each other and piece together a “schedule.” Which is really just that now she sleeps for two good stretches during the day so I can get my work done. The house is a mess, but I’m painting!
Saturday, December 7th, 2013.
The best one I’ve ever made.
We welcomed Lola Kathleen on 10/13/13 at 4:39pm. 6 pounds 7 ounces. 20 inches long.
What an honor being this little souls landing place. We’re still pinching ourselves. xo
Thursday, October 10th, 2013.
. . .Well, I never really went anywhere. I unintentionally took a blog sabbatical and a funny thing happened during the time I was away. . . I started to miss blogging. Isn’t that the way? You burn yourself out just to brighten it up? Perspective that is. I have a much brighter perspective about keeping my blog going. I’m ready for it.
If you haven’t been following me on Face book or Instagram while I was away, then boy almighty am I about to blow your mind with some news. . .
Matt and I are days away from welcoming a new life into the world and we are so, so excited. Most likely I will disappear before I reappear as I transition into motherhood but I wanted you to know I am on my way back to blogging. For reals. Sending lots of love for now. xo